Infidelity can be the most traumatic event you will ever experience in your marriage. Not one solution works for everyone. Supposing this has happened in your marriage, you will have to decide what the right solution is for you.
In this article, I will explain the meaning of infidelity in marriage. I will then cover divorce. Then we will explore the typical signs of infidelity. If you have children, you will learn the best way to discuss the issue with them. Finally, I will talk about getting counseling.
Can Infidelity Be Nonphysical?
Infidelity is generally viewed as physical intimacy of one spouse outside of the marriage. However, it can also take the form of emotional intimacy, involving no sexual contact. Contrary to common beliefs, an emotional affair can be just as devastating as the physical kind. Even worse, it can be more difficult to detect due to its nonphysical form. For example, It can take place through online dating sites, text messaging, etc.
What Are the Signs of Infidelity in Marriage?
How your spouse behaves can be an indication. If he or she is unusually happy or sad, this can be a sign. Other signs are if your spouse starts wearing a lot of new clothes, disappears for lengthy periods of time, or comes home at odd hours of the night. The signs are different for emotional affairs, and less obvious. Some examples include spending too much time alone on the computer, new bills for unknown online subscriptions (possibly dating sites), and too much time spent text messaging.
Is Divorce the Answer?
Although divorce is certainly an option, there are a few others. Another option may be to separate temporarily from your spouse. This allows time for you to emotionally adjust after the affair and gives your spouse a chance to reflect on their mistake. From that point, you can both decide better what to do next. Another option is for you and your spouse to rebuild your marriage together. Be warned: Rebuilding trust in the relationship is much more difficult than starting a new one. Not only that, the level of trust regained will never be as high as before the affair, and a future affair is a very real possibility.
What About the Children?
Ideally, you and your spouse should both discuss the infidelity with your children, but only when they have witnessed an encounter with your spouse and the other person. Otherwise, talking to your children about the affair would only confuse them. Avoid blaming your spouse when talking to your children. Your children would probably resent you for the blame you placed on their other parent.
How Can a Counselor Help?
A counselor can help you and your spouse decide what option will work best. If you have both decided to rebuild the marriage, the counselor can determine if your spouse is committed enough to make it work. If this is the case, you will both be advised on the steps that need to be taken to help restore the broken trust and prevent any future affair.
I hope this article has helped you to better understand your options. The trauma that infidelity brings should be treated with urgency. A decision should be made as quickly as possible to allow your emotional healing to begin.