How to Approach a Cheating Spouse Safely

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If you recently discovered your spouse has been cheating, you may be asking, "how do I approach my spouse safely?" It is okay to approach your spouse, but use caution. Some spouses when approached or accused of cheating can get very upset or may even become violent.

You may want to confront your cheating spouse by yourself but if you do so, do it with calmness and caution. If your spouse is known for having a bad temper or gets physically abusive, then you may want to hold off on the confrontation. In this case, you may want to have someone with you when you do confront him or her about the infidelity.

If you plan to break up or ask for a divorce, you may want to have a friend, relative or even a police officer close at hand. This could help keep the confrontation to a civil and non-physical event.

Even though you may not want to be alone when approaching your cheating spouse with evidence, there are those you do not want with you, your children. Never confront your spouse with accusations or even positive proof of his or her cheating in front of your children. It does not matter the child's age. It is not a good idea to have them around while talking about cheating.

Even slightly raised voices can upset a toddler or newborn. Teenagers sometimes already know about the aspect of cheating from other families of friends, and you do not want to drag them through the agony and pain of an affair and the trouble it can cause in your marriage.

If your spouse has been physically or verbally abusive in the past, approach him or her with extreme caution. If this is the case, have someone with you and end the marriage all at once. Otherwise, there could be a disastrous outcome. If your spouse gets violent when you approach him or her about cheating, then it would be in your best interests to leave immediately. Do not go back alone or when your spouse is at home. Do not put yourself in harms way.

It is not a good idea to confront your spouse unless you are sure that he or she is cheating and you are ready to walk out the door. Even if you feel that you deserve the house and to stay in it, you may want to leave for a while to let things cool down. If you are sure that cheating has taken place and you want to separate, ask your spouse to leave but be prepared to do so yourself if he or she refuses to leave. If you do plan to end the marriage, make sure you have a plan for you and your children's safety.

Do you have suspicion that you spouse is cheating, but you have no proof? Have you witnessed your spouse with someone else? Have you checked telephone records or credit card bills and found evidence? If you have not found real evidence, then you may want to wait before accusing your spouse of cheating. With no proof, your spouse will probably deny cheating and even worse they may not be cheating at all.

There are sure-fire methods for gathering evidence to help prove that your spouse is cheating and ways to approach him or her with that evidence.

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Tony C Edwards has 1 articles online

This is just a few tips to help catch a cheating partner. You can learn more and know for sure if your partner is cheating or not and help save your relationship at To Catch A Cheating Partner Receive a free report at

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How to Approach a Cheating Spouse Safely

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This article was published on 2010/03/31
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